


he looked at me like i was stupid (i'm not stupid)

by artifice



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Established Relationship, Fluff, Friendship, Healthy Relationships, Just fluff., Lack of Communication, Love Confessions, M/M, SO, Wholesomeness, benarmie, but they work it out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:14:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22539178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artifice/pseuds/artifice
Summary: He doesn’t actually know what he’d do if Hux ever said the L-word.-aka: dumb boys trying to work out the basics of communication in a relationship and being dumb. includes gratuitous musical theatre references and hand holding.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 11
Kudos: 70
Collections: Kylux Positivity Week 2020





	he looked at me like i was stupid (i'm not stupid)

**Author's Note:**

> for kylux positivity week day 1: benarmie

**_So please be sweet, my chickadee,_ **  
**_And when I kiss you, just say to me,_ **  
**_"It's delightful, it's delicious,_ **  
**_It's de-lovely."_ **

* * *

“ _Anything Goes_? That’s the school musical this year?”

“Is there a problem?” Hux steps out from behind the navy-blue poster with a box of thumbtacks.

Ben splutters. “ _You_ — you were complaining about the lack of order! I assumed it had something to do with rebellion and wanted to make fun of _Les Mis_ , or something.”

Unimpressed, Hux merely raises an eyebrow as he fixes the poster more securely to the Events/Announcements corkboard. He backs away after double-checking that all the edges are lined up perfectly.

“You can still make fun of this,” he says with a condescending sniff. “Everybody is a fool in love. It’s ridiculous.”

Ben blinks. “But _we’re_ in love.”

Hux nods slowly.

“Your point?”

At that, Ben’s words scramble in his throat, as they’re wont to do whenever Hux acknowledges their relationship in his unique, roundabout way. He doesn’t actually know what he’d do if Hux ever said the L-word. It’s annoying, and has _been_ annoying since Grade 10, but he digresses.

“Um,” he bleats out smartly. His brain is still a blue screen of death. “I mean, like, wouldn’t that be, like— hypocritical?”

Hux’s face falls into an expression Ben likes to call _[Gregory House voice] Are You Fucking Kidding Me You Idiot_. “Darling,” he drawls, “one of our favourite pastimes is brutally judging everything, regardless of what it is.”

Before his systems can come back online, Hux waves his free hand dismissively and spins on his heel with military precision, the posters and box of thumbtacks in his other hand crinkling and clanking dramatically with the movement.

“Uh.” Ben flounders for a moment, then finds his body automatically jogging to fall in step with the student council president.

They’re walking in silence down the hall when Hux lets out an annoyed huff and tugs Ben’s hand out of his uniform pocket so that he can slide their fingers together. And, while greatly appreciated, it certainly isn’t helping him make sense of his thoughts, or why he feels rubbed the wrong way.

Hux lets go of his hand when they reach the Grade 12 lounge to pin another poster up. He takes care to avoid the flyers advertising various universities, and after a minute of fiddling, pats the center with all the pride of promotion done properly.

Ben looks down at his empty hand and frowns in concentration.

“So, wait,” he says, looking up before Hux can take off towards the Grade 11 lounge. “You think being in love is ridiculous?”

Hux mirrors his frown. “Don’t be stupid.”

“ _’Don’t be stupid’_ —? What. That’s not fair.”

“How is that not fair.”

“It just isn’t!”

“I don’t know what you want from me,” the redhead bites out, the corners of his mouth becoming more pinched.

Ben can’t keep the exasperation out of his tone. “Answer the question.”

Narrowing his eyes in a look called _Why Am I Surrounded By Idiocy_ , Hux scoffs in response, and Ben’s heart plummets.

“You know the answer,” he snaps, “and you also know how much I hate inefficiency, so”— he gestures pointedly at the hallway — “let’s be on our way, yes?”

“Actually, I think I’m gonna find Rey and give her back her—thing.” Ben says tightly.

“Her thing.”

The disbelief is almost tangible.

“Yeah. Her thing.”

“What thing.”

“Little sisters always have— _things_.”

Hux sighs, defeat lining his brow. “Ben,”

“See you in sixth,” Ben stiffly turns around, none of Hux’s earlier dramatic grace present, and almost trips out the door. Red-faced, he marches towards the library, where he knows Rey and her posse hang out every lunch.

(Behind him, Hux grits his teeth in frustration. _Stupid_ Ben and his _stupid_ attempts to make Hux talk about his _stupidly_ , annoyingly obvious feelings. _Stupid_. He mentally repeats the word until it loses meaning while he makes his way toward the Grade 11 lounge.)

-X-

“I mean, I just don’t _get it_ ,” Ben groans into the table. It comes out muffled and unintelligible to everybody except his sister, who pats him condescendingly on the head.

“Talk to him, dumbass. You’re never gonna know what he thinks unless you do.” Rey says, then opens her mouth wide to try and catch the grape Finn tosses up in her direction. It hits her bottom lip, and her eyes widen in surprise, then dismay, as the grape _splats_ on the floor. Ben’s hair suffers from the way she yanks away. He doesn’t know why he came here in the first place.

Oh, right.

Hux.

Ugh.

_Hux_.

“Almost got it,” Poe looks up from his calculus homework. “Wait, I wanna try.”

“Say ‘ah’,” Finn says, and instead of throwing the next grape, he leans over to tenderly cup the side of Poe’s jaw and feed him with his fingers.

Ben wants to die. They’re so _gross_.

“You guys are _so_ gross,” he says, because thinking it isn’t enough.

“Says the loser who can’t work out whether or not his own boyfriend likes him,” Poe scoffs.

“Key word being boyfriend,” Rey chimes in with all of her annoyingly sunny disposition.

“Key word being _loser_ , actually,” Finn kicks back until he’s smugly balancing on the back legs of his seat.

Rey hums thoughtfully. “Oh, true.”

Ben lifts his head from the table to stare incredulously at the triumvirate.

“You can’t _say_ this stuff to me, what the hell.”

“Says who?” They chorus in almost perfect unison. Groaning incoherently again, he puts his forehead back on the cold surface of the table and feels the ugly, chipped wood press against his nose.

To say that Ben hates being around them is an understatement.

-X-

It’s sixth period band class, and Hux is getting out his flute in Ben’s usual spot. Granted, it became _their_ usual spot after the second week of senior year, but it’s the _principle_ of the thing.

“Ben,” Hux says in lieu of a greeting as he twists his flute’s head joint onto its body.

Stubbornly, Ben keeps his mouth shut (no, he’s not biting the inside of his cheek to keep his temper in check, he’s _cool_ , okay, shut up) and plops his trombone case on the floor with a little more force than necessary.

“The silent treatment?” Hux sniffs disdainfully. “Real mature.”

“I’m not the one being _immature_ ,” he retorts before he can register that his mouth is moving. Oops.

Hux pinches his nose like it’s going out of style and exhales sharply. “Can we please,” he says slowly, the white leaving his knuckles as he loosens his grip, “just not do this.”

Ben buzzes through his mouthpiece and quickly fixes it to the receiver, then grabs his binder as he pulls himself up. Hux is still looking at him expectantly.

“We can talk after school,” he mutters.

He doesn’t wait to see if Hux agrees before striding towards the throng of wayward high schoolers, plastic chairs, and wobbly music stands.

(Hux is curious, though; he gets the vague sense he’s messed up somewhere in this equation, but he can’t quite parse out where.)

-X-

Class drags on _forever_ , and now, along with being ~~upset~~ confused, Ben is just hungry and tired. He watches Hux meticulously clean his instrument and put it away in the nearby cubbies.

“Well?” he prompts when he returns, then picks up and shoulders his messenger bag, careful not to wrinkle the collar of his uniform’s button-down.

“Not here,” Ben swings his backpack on, Darth Vader pins clinking lightly as they’re jostled together, and rubs at his eyes. “My place? Rey’s got Zumba and won’t be back until 7.”

The redhead looks contemplative. “As long as I get coffee.”

“Addict,” Ben nudges his arm lightly.

Hux smiles— his genuine one that makes his dimples show, that Ben is absolutely stupid for— and nudges back. “Oh, fuck you.”

-X-

They’re sitting on the floor of his bedroom, empty mugs and _Henry V_ worksheets around them, when Ben clears his throat and sets his copy of the play down, drawing Hux out of concentration.

“About what you said earlier,” he starts awkwardly, “about— about ridiculous..ness.”

“About love,” Hux confirms, eyebrows drawing together.

Ben can feel his lower lip jutting out in the beginnings of a pout. “Do you really think being in love is _that_ stupid?”

Frowning deeper, Hux puts his book on the floor and shifts forward to take Ben’s hands in his. “Not— _stupid_. Just,” he looks down at their hands, “what is this about?”

“I don’t know,” he admits quietly.

Hux starts rubbing his thumb along the back of Ben’s knuckles. “I can’t read your mind, love.”

“I know.”

“Walk me through this?”

Ben huffs and draws his hands back, refusing to look up and see Hux’s blue eyes stare into his soul. Though the awkwardness is killing him, he knows they’ll probably be worse off if they don’t work through it now.

He takes a deep breath to try and clear the jumble of thoughts bouncing around his head.

He realizes he’s shaking, a little.

“You seem so certain that being in love is— _ridiculous_ , or whatever, and I guess I’m just, uhm, not really sure if you’re ashamed of how you feel? Or if you’re having second thoughts about us?

“And by the way you’re not even cutting me off now, I’m, like, I don’t know, not sure where we’re at, and I can’t read _your_ mind, you know? I don’t even know if you like me or not, I kind of assumed after you made out with me when I asked you out, and then I said the L-word and you didn’t stop me, and I guess I just think we suck at communication. Like, isn’t that what Rey preaches all the time? That communication is the basis of all good relationships? We’re failing at that, aren’t we. Oh, no. If our relationship was a class, we’d be getting Fs, and not even for respect—”

“Shut up,” Hux says, and the effect is immediate. Ben is mortified.

“Sorry,” he says automatically.

The other boy reaches for his hands again.

“No, I think I should be saying that to you,” he says, concern lacing his tone. “I thought you were trying to fish for some declaration of affection earlier today, and I didn’t take you seriously enough, so,” he chews at his bottom lip. “I’m sorry.”

“Declaration of affection?” Ben’s head snaps up to give his boyfriend a doubtful stare.

Hux doesn’t back down. “I thought you knew how I felt— how I _feel_ — and were trying to make me say it aloud.”

“I don’t understand.” Slowly but surely, his brain is returning to its blue-screen-of-death state.

The redhead makes a frustrated noise at the back of his throat. “I love you, okay?” He closes his eyes. “Sue me, I think that the whole de-lovely, you’re the top— _thing_ , is overrated and silly. That whole honeymoon, fairytale romance aspect of love is ridiculous. But I don’t think loving _you_ is ridiculous. Loving you is— it’s just a fact of life. I don’t know what it’d be like to not love you.”

There are firsts in a relationship, and then there are _firsts_. This? This is a _first_.

Naturally, his brain decides to respond with a full system crash. Ben’s mind is a series of blinking error messages across the board.

“Oh,” he replies intelligently. Way to _go_ , casanova.

“Saying things like _that_ , out loud,” Hux continues, opening his eyes and gesturing down at their hands with his chin, “it takes a lot out of me, and I never feel like it’s enough, so I do things like this.”

“Oh,” he repeats. Hux, bless his soul, seems to get the general idea of what he wants, though- and he slides his eyes closed as tentative lips brush against his.

The whole kissing thing isn’t new between them, but somehow, this one feels a little more special.

“I’m stupid over you,” Ben manages to get out when they pull away.

Hux is all smiles and softened edges.

“You’re stupid in general, but I’ll take it.”

**Author's Note:**

> i just wanted these two to be happy ok
> 
> talk to me on [tumblr](https://rtifice.tumblr.com/) or twitter @iecygne :D


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